The Anti-Conformism Guide

As life itself will tell you (or provoke you to think about) within time, there are many paths which we can take and only ourselves are able to make an all-important decision. It is a part of life which we get accustomed to as we grow older, a thing of which is included in the package of gaining independence. And, at the times when we defiantly believe that we know our hearts' desires, being granted the right to make your own choices is a blessing in the comfort of realizing only you alone will have the final say.

However, that doesn't necessarily mean that all of us enjoy making decisions - from picking which flavoured ice cream to buy (it is usually a tie between chocolate chip and mint for me) to the school that I chose to attend over a month ago, the word decision is more than to send a sickening chill down our spines.

For as long as I can remember, I've detested making decisions as much as a pre-crime committing Justin Bieber song, instinctively feeling insecure about whether I would have the necessary courage for deciding on either a major or insignificant matter. For one thing, knowing that a decision has to be made sends your blood pressure through the roof because, unlike a piece of homework which your teacher may or may not mark, it cannot be ignored. And, if significant figures such as your parents and friends are involved, the pressure grows as you lose your grip on making what deserves to be a straightforward decision; if all spirals out of control, escapes from your ever-growing stress become rarer, or so it seems!

Along with the certainty of death (and the possibility of a funeral home being situated next to a fast-food chain), we can also be certain about one vital part of humanity: decisions. At one point or another, we will make them, often without realizing our actions. As time passes and maturity grows, it somewhat becomes second nature and the difficulties in which we might endure whilst faced with choice subside.

However, what I wish to ask today is a matter that, since being alerted to its presence several weeks ago, could affect the majority of my generation: does conformism play a role in which people behave and lead their lives?

For those unfamiliar with the word conformism, it means a person 'who uncritically or habitually conforms to the customs, rules, or styles of a group'. In less-graphic detail, it translates as somebody who follows the crowd which, as a newcomer on the secondary school scene, I've noticed time and time again since starting there over a month ago.

Although I decided (pardon the pun) to not discuss any ultra-personal matters as a means of remaining sane whilst writing, I will make no secret of the hardship I've endured since returning to school, a lot of which was associated with my refusal to conform. By this, I mean that pupils from all years would ask why I spoke 'posh' and whether I come from a rich background. Questions like these might strike you as insignificant and could probably be laughed off because, in a sense, they are amusing - at least somebody thinks that I speak well!

But as a deep analyzer of all things personal, I can't quite shrug off what these pupils implied in their comments; if it wasn't a big deal to them, would they have ever mentioned it? I, on the other hand, have not exaggerated nor toned down my accent because it doesn't pose what I don't believe is an issue for me, yet a few words confirmed a few beliefs lurking beneath the surface: I'm different to the rest of the crowd, and some people just don't possess the intelligence to let me be myself.

My 'posh' accent has not been the only thing under scrutiny over the past few weeks, sometimes escalating into issues which I cannot bear to deal with alone. From the 'high heels' I wear (considering that all the girls wear ballet pumps, of course my 6cm shoes would look as high as the London Tower) to my rule-complying knee-length skirt, students of all ages are quick to size me up and give me a piece of their minds at any open opportunity - simply because I choose to not follow their examples and remain true to myself!

It's crazy and, when you think about it, deeply saddening that a generation of young people - including boys who, as they hit puberty, can be easily led into converting to conformism as much as their female counterparts - are being swayed into believing that, by following the crowd, happiness awaits them. If I gave into temptation and stepped away from the traits which contribute to my individuality, perhaps my first few weeks at school might not have been as rough or stressful as they have unfortunately been, but I'm sticking it out to achieve the all-important goal: taking my GCSEs. Even now, I get jittery at the thought of sitting my GCSE exams in two years' time, but my sensitive nerves have no choice except to keep it together/ A previously unknown determination has been unearthed to keep my spirits alive while I put up with the initial banter which comes with being 'the new kid' and, provided that I release my anxiety before it explodes like a bottle of Diet Coke mixed with Mentos, I shall get through the next two years and become a stronger person for it.

But is it worth being victimized for being who I am in the meantime? Not at all, and neither should anybody go through hard times in order to make it out on the other side. Events in the past week and before have inspired today's entry and, with a sprinkling of fairy dust, I shall enchant you with a guide to fighting back against conformism. After all, isn't it our human right to express ourselves wherever we go or whomever we hang out with? Let my pain relating to difficulties with fitting in take the edge off your feelings, and transform negativity into a guiding light. Like ultra-tight hot pants, conformism ought to be banished from the world for good, but it takes at least one person to stand up against it. And could that person be you?

1) Ignore Comments
Although usually easier said than done, ignoring sarcastic comments - or words which imply more than what has actually been said - is vital towards immunizing yourself from the perils of following the so-called 'crowd'.
I've had my fair share of such words on more occasions than I can remember, and have hardly had a day without one comment being flung my way. But never once - even at the beginning - have I felt pressurized into changing myself in order to lead a less stressful existence. Not only would it concern the likes of my family, but it would seriously damage me if I behaved in a different and rather unearthly manner for the sake of making friends - in other words, it would be like acting under duress without running into trouble with the law.
Among my intentions to learn (albeit climbing up a mountain on a school trip on Wednesday hardly awakened any brain cells), I also went back to school to be accepted for being me. On paper, it doesn't sound like a big deal and it definitely should not be, yet it is often difficult to escape such drama if stuck in a building with culprits for over six hours five times per week. And, if such conformists are in such agony as to how I express myself, so what? I don't care about what they do with their time as long as it doesn't interfere with mine, and too many minutes have been wasted as I poured over peoples' comments and implications with whatever they feel the need to address.
Nowadays, I ask these insignificant nobodies what the big deal is if they bother to ask me about my shoes, accent, etc. However, it often takes more than one question addressed to them in order to bring comments of any kind to an abrupt stop. But, with studies playing on my mind like a full-time job, I just don't have the heart to waste my time giving an explanation or even uttering two words to them. And why should I?
Whatever goes on, ignore comments and move on with your life, leaving success in your wake. Besides, what will they have to say once their poor GCSE results are handed out?

2) Keep on Being Yourself
If you are going to ignore silly comments, surely you will keep on being yourself? People like myself don't carry on fighting if a good reason exists, and you shall bear it in mind if you persist in your quest to escape conformism. Believe me, it is a fight worth fighting for!
It baffles me as to how conformism has developed a tight grip on people of all ages, albeit it mainly affects the younger generations, including my own. Some trends merely exist for a short period of time, yet even I cannot figure out whether conformism is here to stay or not. However, don't let my confusion stand in your way of expressing what makes you stand out from the crowd - whatever anybody else says, it should be embraced!

3) Develop a Thicker Skin against Pressure
Whether it relates to impulse-buying (splashing out of designer handbags are also included) or the influence of others, pressure surrounds us in many ways which we don't necessarily identify, existing in forms not easily seen.
However, peer pressure - ' is influence that a peer group that encourages others to change their attitudes, values or behaviours to conform to group norms' - is noticeable from miles away, and should be fought against as a means of protecting yourself.
Too many young people wrongly believe that, by conforming to a group's beliefs of normality, they are immune from bullying or pressurization. If it wasn't for these beliefs, perhaps crimes among our youth would decrease to such a degree that, like a rare species, peer pressure would die out. In fact, losing sight of who you are creates problems which will emerge with a vengeance in later life or as soon as you allow peer pressure to influence your heart and soul.
Now that you have learnt about the drawbacks of peer pressure, how will you go about fighting against it? If possible, walking away from it can potentially save a lifetime of insecurity, but it is not always an option (e.g. going to school is an absolute must).
So, there is another choice which, without necessarily giving much thought to it, I decided years ago and has always worked well for me: believe in yourself.
If you believe in your abilities and achievement, why would you need to listen to a pressurizing individual who, behind the heavy make-up and persuasive mannerisms, is concealing his or her insecurities? Peer pressure was born out of the lack of confidence which many young people struggle to cope with, in the assumption that, by going through the same ordeal together, these people could lead semi-happy lives without looking beyond the surface.
In order to achieve happiness, we have to search deep within ourselves to block the source of misery and address it head-on. If you hang out with a group who are not in touch with their emotions, how can you immunize yourself from their contagious ways?
From a distance, a group might seem stronger and less vulnerable than one single person. Maybe that is how I look to many students at my school, but looks can be ever so deceiving; conformism is a fake illusion and benefits nobody who falls prey to it.
Of course, there will be easily-led people who will declare that they couldn't imagine being happier, but it is a fake happiness. The joke is on them for falling for it, and they are the biggest fools of all.

And, last of all, the most important piece of advice is this: possess some common sense. If stigmas towards offensively named 'geeks' and 'nerds' no longer existed, peer pressure would fall off the face of Earth quicker than a one hit wonder, because intelligence is key towards standing up to conformism. Use your brain if you wish to be yourself because, to those equipped with smartness, it is the most intelligent thing that everybody can do!