Sunday 7 September 2014

The Problem With... Socialisation

If you have ever been home-schooled or known somebody whose education took place in their home, chances are that the S word - and definitely not of the profanity kind - has been uttered at least once. By this, of course I'm referring to the word that, in my experience, follows most home-schoolers like a horrible plague - socialisation. In recent years, socialisation has become a word that I've grown to hate even more than the thought of studying the Periodic Table which, if you had the slightest idea of how much I dread my Science lessons, is a pretty hard feat. The sound of it sends me into shock, making the hairs that I forgot to shave on my legs stand up and feel stubbier than ever. So, you would really need to get a hearing aid if you didn't know that socialisation is my ultimate dirty word - even the mess that my two not-so-angelic cats (who will soon be introduced to a seven week old kitten) produce on a constant basis can beat it.

For those who have yet to be enlightened with this oh-so-scary meaning - which makes The Exorcist as sweet as the U-rated Toy Story - behind 'socialisation' (I say this with my two index fingers pointed upwards, like an overly playful cat's tail), let me be your enthusiastic guide.

An essential part of life, socialisation is the foundation of getting used to others and mixing with all types of people. In our early years, we socialize with our parents and, if we have any, our siblings; usually, we make our first steps towards communication with family members, who know us best and have a valuable relationship with us. Then, as we begin to flourish, those social skills are further extended to other activities, such as playgroup, which we typically attend a few years before school is on the horizon. Through play, we meet fellow peers and learn how to be around people whom we don't necessarily know; for many of us, this is a point in which we discover how to make friends. And that cycle is continued once we start school, and so on for the rest of our lives.

Like the majority of children, I went to playgroup and school and socialized with various people - older children, kids my own age and, indeed, adults. In that aspect, my life has been the same as everybody else's, and socialisation has never been an issue for me. I've been best friends with a girl whom I met at primary school a decade ago, and we saw each other for the first time in seven years - due to my moving away - on Monday. We've texted, written letters and spoken on the phone many times over the years, the thought of which has never stirred a serious case of panicky nerves. I always enjoy talking to her and, since catching up six days ago, being in her presence. Socialisation? I haven't gotten any problem with it, but other people appear to have so.

As permanently inscribed in your brain, I returned to mainstream education - my fancier term for secondary school - several months ago, having been educated at home for seven years. During those seven years, I had contact with various people, including my close friend who vowed to stay in touch with me, despite living over hundred and fifty miles away. Never did I become a 'social recluse', but more of my time was dedicated to my studies - time that other kids might have used by hanging out with their mates instead of completing their Science project.

There are many stereotypes about home-schooled students, several of which break my heart. Type in 'are home-schooled kids...' into Google and the word 'weird' will show up on the suggested results. Typical really of people whose ignorance has cost them half of their IQ points, isn't it? Though my days as a home-schooler are long over, I still feel the powerful need to stand up for not only the current home-educated, but myself. Wherever I go, whatever I do, my past will never be wiped clean. And you know what? I don't want it to change one tiny bit because, regardless of the questions that people type into Google, there is nothing that I deserve to be ashamed of.

Everybody has a right to be different, and it just so happens that my method of gaining an education is in the minority compared to most others'. But does it honestly matter? As long as nobody is making a fuss about it, I couldn't care less about whether I've spent the past seven years in a classroom or at my desk because the principles always stay the same: you learn. When you think about it, people are only causing up a stir over where you are being taught, which doesn't justify creating cruel stereotypes whatsoever. People are afraid of the unknown, then channel their fear into ignorance, which then leads to idiocy and a remark from my mouth that is a sharper than a crocodile's set of pointy teeth. Yet home-schooled students -  whose aspirations to achieve in their studies are as great as their school-attending counterparts - receive that all-mighty blow, which knocks us off our feet in the boxing ring. And the repercussions continue to be strongly felt - even when you leave home education behind in the past.

Anyway, I started at my new school - otherwise my first ever experience at a secondary school - in June and have just returned after the summer holidays, which I treated like a gift from heaven. For six glorious weeks, there were no obligations to don a restrictive uniform that was merely an advertising outlet for the school, and my ears were given a thankful break from non-stop noise that you hear in between and during classes. As of Friday, the gift's duration reached an end, and reality resumed - in all its startling brightness. School is back and, at least for me, a pressing issue: socialisation.

Think back to those Google suggestions and pick out the 'weird' one. Why are home-schooled pupils perceived to be weird and not at all normal like their peers, who receive fair treatment for going to school? Some things are left unsaid because you cannot deny how obvious they are, but they are nonetheless shocking when you find yourself on the receiving end of it. Unfortunately, I discovered the horrific truth behind this almost from the moment that school re-entered my life, almost entirely thanks to the S word that I cannot bear to utter, think about or write down ever again. Well, like I said a few moments before, some things needn't be said - and perhaps it's for the best.

Let's get one thing straight: home-schooling and socialisation are not a great combination. Society seems to believe that, if you are not fooling around with the idiots that you call your classmates at school, you possess little or no social skills. Within a click of a finger, you locked away from the outside world, which is like a permanent version of Big Brother minus the drunks and wannabe Z-Listers. In some people's eyes, that's the way that home-schooling is, but the truth couldn't be further away from that incorrect belief. And, sadly, several teachers and schools have cottoned on to the view that the home-schooled cannot socialize, which has created absolute hell for me.

Without going into too great detail, I have faced several problems at my new school which, since bringing them up with the appropriate people, have been nipped in the bud. As far I'm aware, I came out of the other side intact, a bit stronger and resilient in my strength and ability to ward off insignificant others. However, some people take the view that I have the problem - because of 'socialisation'!

So, what these people - adults noless, who ought to have paid more attention to various forms of education during their teaching courses - are conveying behind their fancy terms is that, because some people were picking on me, I'm a social recluse. WHAT PLANET ARE THEY ON???

My head has been swimming with the words that several teachers have used which, behind the gentle smile, translates as I have a socialisation problem. The blame that ought to be placed on them has been shifted onto me, because they cannot accept the responsibility that they have to prevent their pupils from targeting their peers. But, despite the gruelling tests that I've been put through, I will never give in. Otherwise, I'd be giving them as much satisfaction as the bullies would gain had I buckled under their spiteful words. Yet should it be happening in the first place? No.

Alright, I've just gotten used to the whole school thing and lack the experience that many pupils have, but it doesn't mean that I'm oblivious to the tricks that schools can play. I might have spent my first few weeks in a bubble, taking in my surroundings and adjusting to the great change in my life, yet it certainly did not mean that I didn't understand anything. If I'm up-to-date with politicians' antics in The Daily Mail - whose lying skills I've analysed like a maybe Photo-shopped selfie - why would I not be able to spot the tricks that schools try to play? Many home-schoolers are smart, and I hope to be solid proof of that theory.

Just because I was home-schooled, it doesn't justify why several ill-minded pupils decided to use offensive language - which totally went against the supposedly 'strict' policies - towards me. In fact, it's another excuse that attempts to hide a problem that the school cannot control, yet the mask has already slipped; I see right through it. Bringing socialisation into the equation is the worst of all the excuses that could have ever been made, because it is highly irrelevant to my education.

Will mixing with the in-crowd influence my grades and, most 'importantly' of all, the school's league tables? If I really wanted to socialize, I'd go to a social club which, for many pupils, is the purpose for which they bother going to school each day. I study, I work hard and I try to stay on my teachers' good side - isn't that what matters most? School is about learning and pushing yourself further beyond your means; as much as making friends and getting along with your peers is important, I take the view that your main focus should be steered towards learning, instead of the social events of the year.

My rant over-and-done with, I hope that all people - schools and pupils included - realize that socialisation is not the be- and end-all of school life. Yes, we should be encouraged to participate in group activities and work as a team, yet that can be said about people who have attended school all their life - home-schoolers shouldn't have to take the blame because of being different.

If any of my teachers mentions the S word one more time, perhaps they will receive a dressing down about what socialisation - and its acre-long list of problems - truly means...

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